Solutions

“Don’t focus on the problem. Focus on the solution.” -Roz Moskovits

How many days months and years go by with you tolerating a problem instead of seeking or hunting down a solution? Like a dripping faucet. The dripping irritates you, but you keep putting off calling a plumber or learning how to fix it yourself. You know logically you’ll be happier when it’s fixed and the dripping is over, but you keep telling yourself you don’t have time, you’re not sure where to start, you don’t know who to call, or whatever the reason is. It’s not so disruptive to your life that it spurs you to make a change immediately, so you keep tolerating it. But the faucet keeps dripping, and it keeps bothering you.

We all do this for many different situations, and that is why having a great coach is one of your best allies.

For example, during my western dressage riding lessons, it was obvious that I was fidgeting with my stirrups. My coach, Roz, asked about it and reminded me a solution was the answer. Western riders greatly benefit from “turning” their stirrups. When a rider turns their stirrups, they train the stirrup fenders and the leathers beneath them to twist outwards, which turns the stirrups outward from the sides of the horse at a right angle. Turned stirrups offer a rider easier and safer mounting and dismounting, less strain in their legs while riding, and far greater ease in regaining a lost stirrup while riding.

The solution was wonderful. Less distraction, more focus and ease during the ride. Why hadn’t I done it sooner?

What is the problem or irritant you’re tolerating right now? What are the possible solutions? What is stopping you from seeking out these solutions? Are you too focused on the issue and not focused enough on finding the answer?

Starting Before You Are Ready!

Anytime we want to shift or do something new it is natural to meet with resistance and perhaps stall. The best thing to do is to start before you are ready.

Feeling resistance and doubt is because of the way we’re hard-wired (Check out this video for more information: https://youtu.be/8cHGnaw-gBE). Anything new causes alarm in our multidimensional system, and a lot of times it shuts down our new course of action.

Today, making this video seemed almost daunting. I had a busy day on the farm, a riding lesson, and meals to prepare for the crew. But you just have to go for it! Look at my video below—my hair is flat from my riding helmet and the lighting is off. Oh, well! I am proud to get it on the FB page because I have something to share that I am very passionate about.

So start before you are ready. It’s all feedback and information. The ones that you are supposed to reach will be reached. And I will high five myself with an “I did it!” This will build confidence and bandwidth for more.

Top 4 Reads for 2016 (So far!)

Allow yourself to benefit from the wisdom and experience of others. Take some time for yourself, have a cup of tea, grab a cozy blanket, open one of these four fantastic books, and learn how to grow, heal, and love yourself. Expand your limitations and possibilities.

Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear
By Elizabeth Gilbert

From Amazon: Readers of all ages and walks of life have drawn inspiration and empowerment from Elizabeth Gilbert’s books for years. Now this beloved author digs deep into her own generative process to share her wisdom and unique perspective about creativity. With profound empathy and radiant generosity, she offers potent insights into the mysterious nature of inspiration. She asks us to embrace our curiosity and let go of needless suffering. She shows us how to tackle what we most love, and how to face down what we most fear. She discusses the attitudes, approaches, and habits we need in order to live our most creative lives. Balancing between soulful spirituality and cheerful pragmatism, Gilbert encourages us to uncover the “strange jewels” that are hidden within each of us. Whether we are looking to write a book, make art, find new ways to address challenges in our work,   embark on a dream long deferred, or simply infuse our everyday lives with more mindfulness and passion,  Big Magic cracks open a world of wonder and joy.

Pretty Happy: Healthy Ways to Love Your Body
By Kate Hudson

From Amazon: In almost every interview she gives, Kate Hudson is asked the same questions: What do you eat? How do you stay so fit? What workout do you do? What’s your secret? Well, the secret is that the sound bites the media loves so much don’t tell the story, and the steps you need to take to have a healthy, vibrant and happy life can’t be captured in a short interview. The key to living well, and healthy, is to plug into what your body needs, understanding that one size does not fit all, all the time, and being truly honest with yourself about your goals and desires.

The Urban Monk: Eastern Wisdom and Modern Hacks to Stop Time and Find Success, Happiness, and Peace
By Pedram Shojai

From Amazon: We all struggle to discover satisfaction and contentment in the modern world and yet the more technology we use, the more things seem to get worse. What are we all missing? What will it take for us to find our centers? Pedram Shojai shares how the calmness of Zen masters is attainable in today’s fast-paced world, and with practice, you too can stop time, refuel, and focus on the things that really matter.

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
By Bessel van der Kolk, MD

From Amazon: Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent over three decades working with survivors. In  The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores innovative treatments—from neurofeedback and meditation to sports, drama, and yoga—that offer new paths to recovery by activating the brain’s natural neuroplasticity. Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists,  The Body Keeps the Score  exposes the tremendous power of our relationships both to hurt and to heal—and offers new hope for reclaiming lives.

 

What Are You Tolerating?

Photo Credit
Photo Credit

Tolerance is a wonderful thing. It’s important to be tolerant of the beliefs of others, and to be tolerant of honest mistakes and unintended harm. But as with anything, too much of anything is not healthy. When you start tolerating every little thing that bothers you or gets in the way of your happiness, your life starts becoming less your own. And when that happens, it’s time to take a look at the tolerations in your life and decide which ones need to be dealt with.

Tolerations are those little things that you’ve come to accept and cope with, even if they make you unhappy or frustrated. They can be anything from a leaky faucet to a bully co-worker; a minor annoyance or a serious situation that makes you dread something as simple as going to work.

Stop tolerating the little annoyances. Stop tolerating the big stressors. Stand up and say NO MORE! See what happens!

Exercise:

We tend to get dragged down and overwhelmed by things that accumulate over time – and end up cluttering our minds. You may not want to do anything about them right now, but just writing them out will raise your awareness and you’ll naturally start handling, fixing, and resolving them. So, make a list of what you’re putting up with and see what’s cluttering your mind, draining your energy, and slowing you down!

Click HERE to download the Tolerations worksheet

 

Managing Your Energy Vs. Self-Care

You’ve probably heard about self-care. Self-care is an important aspect of life. It’s when you purposefully take the time to nurture yourself, whether it’s meditating, getting a massage, resting, working at your passion or hobby, or just getting your hair done. When you take time for yourself, it replenishes your energy, makes you happy and content, and helps you grow.

But it also triggers feelings of anxiety and guilt for some women. As women, we’re seen as the nurturers. We put others’ needs first. We bend over backwards to help our loved ones and neglect ourselves. We sacrifice. We ask ourselves, “How can I take time to do a yoga class when I’ve got piles of laundry, an unfinished project at work, a kid that needs homework help, and a million emails and phone calls to respond to?” This always-put-others-first lesson has been ingrained in us for generations. So the concept of prioritizing self-care is often met with hesitation and resistance.

But, still – it’s important. How can we change our mindset so that we make it a priority to take care of ourselves?

I suggest we reframe the concept of self-care into the concept of managing your energy. I believe managing your energy is the key to living the life you desire. And, the concept of managing your energy versus self-care will probably get better support from you and everyone else in your life.

You only have so much energy. And, you want to use that energy to do the things you feel are important, like helping your child with homework or doing a great job at work. When you run out of energy, you’re doing yourself and others a disservice. You’re not giving it your all; you can’t.

To get more energy, to replenish energy, so that you can give 100% when you need to, you need to instill positive, replenishing habits.

95% of our lives are run by habits. Sometimes bad ones. That’s when you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired, and your pre-frontal cortex or your rational and analytical mind shuts down and goes to your subconscious default habits, like reaching for the bag of cookies, or cigarettes, or alcohol, in an attempt to soothe yourself. These habits do not replenish your energy; they deplete it.

Why not guard your energy and replenish it and make deliberate, high-quality choices? Get more sleep, eat foods that are full of life force, laugh and share with friends. Move your body. It is designed to move. Give yourself permission to chill. Take that class you’ve wanted to take for a long time. Go for a hike by yourself.

These types of habits can fill your energy tank back up so that you can be truly present and energized for your job, for your kids, for your partner, and for anything else important to you. Your energy is the most serious thing about you, and you are responsible for managing your energy so that you can bring it to every situation that needs it.

Stop Worrying About Money!

.
Worrying about money doesn’t ever help. Worry will not propel you to take action, it doesn’t solve your problems, and it definitely doesn’t help you to attract or manifest more money. Worrying is, simply, the worst thing you can do when you’re broke.
.
You may have heard the phrase, “The love of money is the root of all evil.” How we feel about money is really important, especially if we are trying to get more.
.
Can you imagine having a relationship with a person the way that you have a relationship with money? You ignore it most of the time, you don’t like to talk about it, and anytime you directly address money, it’s only to complain or to worry about it. That is not a healthy relationship, and it will make money stay away from you.
.

A few statements you should use to better describe your current relationship with money:

  • There is more than enough.
  • I am worthy of first-class everything.
  • The more I spend, the more I receive.
  • The more I give, the more I receive.
.
When you feel that money is good, and you are good, and you are continually grateful for the money that comes into your life (and grateful for the money that goes out of your life, too!), this allows you to do the things that make money come to you. Most people reach an invisible barrier to having too much money in their lives, and that is what is keeping them from manifesting money. Nobody else is keeping you from making more; it’s only us, and our beliefs, that are limiting us.
.
The two things you can do to overcome those limiting beliefs are to feel appreciation for money, and to act. Taking action is the key ingredient that most people miss when they are trying to work with the Law of Attraction – they do it all in their head, instead of manifesting in the real world.
.
What are some actions you can do?
.

Need money right now?

  • Sell something—items you don’t really need, something you create, or have a garage sale.
  • Freelance—try services such as Odesk.com, elance.com, or fiverr.com.
  • Ask for a raise or a promotion. Come to that meeting prepared on how to discuss your value.
  • Get a part-time job.
.

Have some time to earn money?

  • Go back to school or earn a certificate in something that will bring you happiness and more marketability.
  • Consult a financial advisor on investments.
  • Follow your entrepreneurial spirit and start your own business.
.
Enjoy your love affair with Money!
.
Angela
.

Soil

.

Every living thing needs energy to survive, but where does the energy come from?

The sun.

And can we use this energy to provide us with all the things we need to survive? Actually, it’s quite simple: by using SOIL. Plants absorb the energy from the sun and this makes them grow. The plants then provide us with food, shelter, clothing, and countless other things we use every day. All of these things can be traced back to soil.

Now… what would you think when you hear the words “Buried Treasure?” Most of us would think of pirates and adventures. What treasures did pirates search for? Gold, silver, metals, fossil fuels, salt, etc… Where did they come from?

The Earth; the land! All the treasures you can think of come from the earth. Thus, the earth is a treasure. Let’s examine our most precious treasure.

The earth is 75% water and the remaining 25% is the the part on which we live.

Soil is a renewable resource, but we must use it wisely, as it takes a very long time to develop.

The earth is dynamic, which means that it is always moving. As you know, the earth is in constant rotation around the sun, but it happens so slowly that with casual observations we cannot feel this action. The same is true for the slow, constant movement happening within the many layers of the earth.

Soils are living systems. There are wide varieties of organisms that make their home in the soil. Some of these organisms are microscopic—meaning they can only be seen under a microscope—while others are easy to see. Without creatures that live in soil, soil fertility would be greatly affected, and decomposition of animals and plants would not occur.

Now let’s take a much broader view. Pretend that the apple is the earth. How much of the earth’s surface is used to produce food?

Cut the apple into quarters and eliminate ¾ as representing the oceans and other bodies of water. The remaining quarter represents the total land mass of the earth. Cut this quarter into 4. One forth represents mountains, the second sixteenth represents deserts, the third sixteenth represents tundra, icecaps and other non-usable portions. The remaining one sixteenth represents all the land suitable for growing crops. Cut the remaining one-sixteenth piece of apple in 2 and set one aside.  This represents the land that could produce food but is buried under cities highways and other structures that people have built.

This leaves us with a small slice representing barely one 32nd slice of the earth. Carefully peel this slice. This small thin piece of apple peel barely3% of the apple’s surface represents the topsoil on which we depend to grow our food. Soil is an important resource—We must look after it.

An Engaged Life

.

Imagine you were given a small, plain houseplant. You watered it regularly, made sure it had enough light, fed it fertilizer, and maybe you even played music for it. Over time, the plant grew strong and bloomed. It became beautiful and it filled you with joy every time you looked at it.

Now imagine that you forgot about that plant. You forgot to water it and it drooped. It started looking pretty sad, so you put it in a dark corner. It wilted and turned brown. Leaves fell off. You threw it out in the trash. And you missed out on that joy it would have brought you.

This is your life. This is everything in your life. If you do not care for things, engage in everything around you, they will wilt, and you will miss out on many opportunities.

Deepak Chopra, renowned doctor and writer, states, “The moment you stop interacting with anything, show indifference toward it, or even just go through the motions—whether it is a relationship, activity, or object—is the moment it starts to become less relevant to your life and starts to wither away” (43). Contrary to that, when we purposefully engage with relationships, activities, or objects in a positive and caring way, those things in our life will grow.

Think about a relationship that’s important to you. It may be positive or negative. Now, what would happen if you paid more attention to it? What would happen if you communicated more often? Or if you did kind things for the other person? If you told them something about themselves that made you happy? Chances are, the relationship would yield more blossoms, rather than wilt.

Of course, it’s hard to change. If you’ve always just called your mother on holidays and birthdays, it may be uncomfortable to start calling every Sunday. But think of it this way: Chopra tells us, “Our brains literally lose the capacity to expand, adapt, transform, and evolve if not challenged. As a result, we doom ourselves to a world of repetition, boredom, and stagnation.” Does “repetition, boredom, and stagnation” sound like something you want to perpetuate in our short time here on earth? Chopra goes on to say, “We settle for something far more predictable because it feels safer, even if it dulls our very experience of being human” (NEED PG #).

So, yes, it’s safer to keep doing what you’re doing. You know the outcome, if it’s something you’ve always done. But if you truly want to grow and have a richer, more fulfilling life, you need to engage.

We are all connected to each other. And not just to people, but the world around us. Chopra states that the wisest “look at the trees as their lungs. If the trees didn’t breathe, they would not breathe. And if they did not breathe, the trees would not breathe” (34). Realize that every one of your actions affects everything around us. When you realize that, you may want to consider what you’re putting out there. Is it negativity? Indifference? Is this what you want your surroundings to become?

I hope the answer is no. To make positive changes in your life and that which surrounds you, you must be purposefully engaged. Pay loving attention to the people in your life, start to care for things you may have inadvertently neglected, and get in the game! Become truly involved in your life. Don’t just wait for things to happen to you. Be the catalyst of your life. You are the one responsible for change and growth.

Beauty, In and Out

.

Many women look at the mirror, and instead of appreciating what they see, they pick it apart, piece by piece. They don’t see a beautiful woman. They see a droopy chin, flabby arms, a crooked smile, or grey hairs. Instead of feeling confident and satisfied with their reflection, they list what they feel is unattractive.

This brutal, daily take-down of our self-esteem isn’t doing us any good. Pervasive, negative thoughts can poison our minds and spirits, and when we feel bad inside, our outside suffers, too, whether through frown lines, poor posture, or just not caring or trying anymore.

Breaking the cycle of negative thinking and judgment is possible. You just need to be diligent about it. And while you’re working on your inside with positive self-talk, consider enhancing your outside.

Some of you may be thinking that sounds shallow; that what matters is inside, and you can’t judge a book by its cover, and the like. You’re partially right. What’s inside is most important, of course. There’s no denying that.  But boosting your outside appearance can have positive effects on your inside, too.

Or maybe you’re thinking you don’t have time to worry about your look, or you don’t want to spend money on yourself. Perhaps you’re always putting others ahead of yourself. Maybe you even feel you don’t deserve to indulge.

But you do deserve it. And your loved ones deserve to have a happy mother, sister, aunt, or  friend.

Wearing colors that flatter, clothes that fit properly, and a hairstyle that you love and that looks great can lift your spirits. You’ll find more positive things in your reflection. Maybe you’ll stand a little straighter. Smile a little more. Walk more confidently. Your good-looking outside will start making you good-looking on the inside, which, in turn, will make your outside even more beautiful! Your inner light and happiness will shine through. Marianne Williamson tells us “Beauty is an internal light, a spiritual radiance that all women have but most women hide, unconsciously, denying its existence. What we do not claim remains invisible.”

Here’s how you can start feeling better, inside and out.

Perhaps you’ve been wearing your hair the same for the last 25 years because it feels safe, or your makeup hasn’t been changed even though fuchsia isn’t really your color. Maybe you’ve been wearing yoga pants and a pony tail for the 234th day in a row. It doesn’t matter. If you want a sleeker, more updated look; if you want to find colors and styles that flatter, you can do it now. You can find the courage to make a change.

Here’s a great tool to help get you started on your beauty journey: http://dressingyourtruth.com/. Designed by bestselling author Carol Tuttle, Dressing Your Truth is a fantastic website and course that can help you identify your strengths and help you learn how to look your best, through finding clothes that flatter your body type to learning new makeup techniques.

Discovering your type takes into consideration how the natural expression and movement of each type influences your personality, behavior tendencies, thought and feeling processes, gifts and talents, personal space, body language and your physical features. It truly resonated with me. And, I’m pleased to report that my profile is called The Bright, Animated Women.

Believe that you deserve to feel good, inside and out. Take the free Discover Your Beauty quiz, and start watching the videos. That’s all there is to it to get started celebrating YOU.