From moment to moment, we are in different states; they could be a state of reflection, a state of joy, a state of being engaged. Unfortunately, many of us are in the habit of being in the state of indifference, or a state of being distracted. We just go through the motions. We nod and uh-huh to our kids as we check our phones. We zone out in meetings. We hand a cup of coffee to our partner and don’t even look him or her in the eye. And they just grunt, “Thanks.”
Pat Parelli says, “Take the time it takes so it takes less time,” meaning doing something properly, such as really listening and connecting with someone, will yield more positive results rather than “faking it” or “doing something half-heartedly.”
And your relationships won’t be so much work in the long run, if you start them off right.
My friend, Julia, prompted this message. She is visiting from Germany and works on our dairy farm. We both love horses. I watched her feed the horses, and instead of just dumping the feed into the tubs, she waited until the horses listened and pleasantly engaged with her, rather than blowing her off, rude or grumpy. She just waited a little bit until she got a more pleasant and wanted response. Did it take a little more time? Sure. But her experience was better. What if we all took a little more time to create a state of being present and in the moment? If we took a few more moments to focus on what’s in front of us?
You can’t just show up and expect anything worthwhile without making an investment. Showing up engaged gives life to your experiences and relationships. Being present, or in the “now,” is a state worth creating.