Make Meeting New People Less Stressful

Meeting New People

It’s difficult meeting new people, whether for friendship or romance, when you’re an adult.

As a child, your friendships were forged due to proximity or classroom assignment. As an adolescent and as a young adult, you still had the luxury of school, which created forced interactions with many different personalities, allowing you to choose whom to spend time with. You also might have had a little more fearlessness or perhaps less jadedness when it came to relationships, which allowed you to be more open.

But, as an adult, you are now in your own world of your creation, and it can be hard to meet new people, not to mention hard to be open and let new people in.

So, what happens when you finally find someone you may want to know better? A lot of times the answer is anxiety. Will they like you? What will you talk about? Who will pay? Do we exchange numbers? What if they don’t want to meet up again?

Because of this anxiety, a lot of people just don’t do it. And they might be missing out on getting to know a really interesting person! This is why I’ve developed the six rules of Coffee Chats. Coffee Chats are safe, fun, stress-free chats or meetings that help you get over that first initial meeting. Here are the rules:

COFFEE CHAT RULES

  1. Each party pays for their own beverage.
  2. For today do not talk about your past/health problems (this can be hard because our identity is so fused with this, but stay the course for today).
  3. Do talk about your desires/visions and share what lights you up.
  4. No exchanging numbers or follow-ups at this time.
  5. I usually recommend a time frame of an hour, but this can be discussed. This makes things flow and avoids an awkward ending.
  6. Most of all, have fun. Every experience is a gold mine of information!

After your coffee chat, you and the other party can decide if you want to try it again. And if one party doesn’t want to, that’s perfectly okay. It’s okay to have people come into your life temporarily, even if that temporary moment is only an hour-long coffee chat.

Good luck to you and be sure to let me know via social media if you’ve had success!

 

What change would you make to bring you peace?

A week ago, I posted the question, “What’s the one change you could make that would give you more peace and calm?” I want to dive a little deeper so that you can understand the importance of this question.

Think about today. Did you wake up thinking about all the tasks you need to accomplish today? You have to get the laundry done, pay a few bills, get that project done at work, return phone calls and emails, check your kids’ homework… the list goes on and on. When do you get to be in the moment? When do you get to spend time focusing on joy? Or when do you have time to think about your goals and dreams?

Most of us live a very busy and reactive lifestyle. This keeps our sympathetic nervous system—also known as fight or flight—always on.  Research shows this causes disease in our bodies, including anxiety and high blood pressure. We constantly feel overwhelmed and stressed. Instead of being able to plan or set goals, or to sit back and enjoy the present, we’re continually reacting to immediate issues and forced into a survival mindset instead of a thriving mindset.

Wouldn’t it be great to consciously switch to our parasympathetic system—also known as rest and digest—for a sense of peace and calm? Wouldn’t you rather have a holistic sense of being?

I like to take time out of my busy life to slow down and get plugged back into my well being by sitting in a field with my horses. Few experiences give me that sense of peace and calm. This allows me to feel like I am living a life worth living.

What change would you make to bring you peace?

#chairchallenge